String & Sing: Restring your uke in community!

An evening of fun and empowerment, as we learn to restring our ukuleles in a relaxed, inclusive, and nurturing environment which might erupt into song.

Strings and tools will be provided, no experience necessary. Bring a light snack or come empty-handed. We are your people.

Your co-regulating partner will be high-school proficiency certificate-holder Ryk Groetchen, (he/they; ADHD, aphantasia, proprioception hyposensitivity; mixed-heritage, on stolen land), advocate for children in a neurodiverse community, music facilitator, and parent of children with sensory and cognitive processing differences.

Time: [stuck]
Place: [stuck]

This is my life.

In response to my recent email about the new frame for my community offerings, one person asked,

“Where can I get my ukulele restrung?”

Because of the way I am wired to respond, I think “Yes! I know a way to respond that is empowering!” My “can do” attitude is based on my experience of having restrung ukuleles in community, and of having seen people go from feeling incompetent to feeling empowered. This journey needs a space to take place–both an inner space (a willingness to engage) and an outer container (a home or a community space).

So my actual response was,

“How about we have a String & Sing? Can you host?”

If you’re a knitter or a crafter, you’ll understand String & Sing, because you’ve probably attended a Stitch & (word that rhymes with stitch that represents what we do when we co-advocate). I have facilitated such activities where I co-regulate with one or several other people, sharing my skill and willingness in such a way that incompetence softens into empowerment.

Well, right away we ran into a barrier that prevented my response from blossoming in that moment into an event.

They responded,

“I can’t host at my place,”

which was my response as well. We ran into a barrier that left us without an easy resolution. We stewed.

This helps clarify why high on my list of priorities is finding a literal space within which to experience emergent, responsive, neurodiverse community. If I had access to a space, I would have found out when this person was available, and I would have met them there, and invited others. We could have experienced response after response after response that led to a shared journey from incompetence to empowerment.

This is my life.

Every day I hear people asking for opportunities to make similar journeys, and every day there are barriers: no space. No time. No willingness. No skill. And still I try to make space and time for these responses to be able to operate, because we are wired to respond.

This response is care.

And so often, it seems like there isn’t space for care to blossom. We’re so busy fitting ourselves into boxes that don’t overlap with other people’s boxes, and sometimes big parts of ourselves end up not getting cared for. We don’t blossom. We stew.

But, because this is an emergent, responsive space, I thought, “maybe someone would be willing to host?” In that case, the willingness is the space, and having a home to share is the skill. If someone is willing to share their space, the space is co-created to co-regulate, to share community space, and so experience the journey from incompetence to empowerment together. This is the meaning of emergent, responsive, neurodiverse community (if we take for granted that our community is neurodiverse: the spectrum is 3D, and we are all on it).

Oh no! Another one of Ryk’s long rants!

Sometimes things need explaining in a new frame. Experiencing no after no, sometimes we need to advocate for ourselves, for our needs. If we know that our needs are shared, then we can co-advocate with our loved ones. Even better! That’s responsive care.

This is where I want to meet you. Where I meets we.

I’m like the Lorax. I sing for the trees that are our emergent, responsive, neurodiverse nervous systems.

In reading this, did you experience willingness? Or skill? Or wow! Or yes! These are all responses we are wired to give–because we are wired to give. But there are so many barriers. So we get stuck. We get frustrated–maybe so much so that we stop feeling the responses we are wired to give. And we get rewired. We stew.

I want to stop stewing and return to responding. I want to live in an emergent, responsive, neurodiverse community.

I’m asking for my people to help co-create it.

Thank you for listening.

So, when and where is the String & Sing happening? I’m so here for it! Just let me know.

[cue Jackson 5] I’ll be theeeeere…

Ryk

If you found this message led to emerging questions, responses, or feelings you’d like to have more of, subscribe to our (our means where I meets we) blog:

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If the world described seems like a world you’d like to build with your world-building mind, consider giving to the team that’s trying to help build it by providing strings and tools and space and willingness and skill:

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If you’re inspired to have a conversation, I’m here for it! Let’s have a conversation. These conversations are literally my life, and I love you for having them, wherever you have them.

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